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We’re often told that being confident is the secret sauce to achieving success, becoming a master of leading, and getting our ideas heard by others. A confident person radiates almost otherworldly social skills, navigating situations with grace, and faces new challenges with fearlessness. Confidence is often rated as being an extremely attractive trait, because a confident person simply demonstrates acceptance of themselves, pride in their abilities, and security in their body language.
But that’s often easier said than done.
Every single one of us has felt moments where we feel good, almost in sync with the universe, and confident in our choices and circumstances. Contrarily, we’re no strangers to moments of feeling uncertain, moments of being unsure of our place in life, or moments of insecurity in our appearance — it’s human, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
But what if I told you that the power to access confidence, even in our darkest moments, resides in an integral, innate place in our creative mind?
Confidence is not one simple idea, nor is there any one person who is the pinnacle of confident; it looks different to different people, and our ideas of what makes someone a confident person is rooted deeply in our personality, experience, and current situation. We all come to the table with different a perspective with regards to confidence, and it’s for this reason that I’m going to talk today about how we can take advantage of our unique idea of confidence to build our attractive character.
In this blog post, we’ll explore the fascinating link between confidence, alter egos, and building an attractive character that embodies the essence of our boldest, most empowered selves, grounded in our personal experiences and goals. I guarantee you that anyone and everyone has the power to embody a confident persona, and that power has been inside of you all along.
Without further ado, let’s get started!

Alter Egos and Confidence

One of my favorite books I’ve ever come across, so much so that I recommend it to many of my trainees, is The Alter Ego Effect by Todd Herman, where he explores the power of crafting an internal self that embodies all of the positive traits we associate with being our version of spectacular. Your personality is a set of many traits, beliefs and emotions; some traits positive, and others negative, which all human beings have, no exception.
Crafting an alter ego is as simple as taking this set of “ingredients” that make our core self, and applying them strategically.
An alter ego is a secondary self, a persona that embodies different traits, qualities, or characteristics from our everyday persona. It allows us to tap into untapped potential, overcome limitations, and express aspects of ourselves that may be dormant or underutilized; the key word here is “dormant,” meaning that the alter ego, while being specially curated, is simply a focused, well-crafted and specific representation of the traits we already have within us.
I want you to humor me for a bit and take a few moments to do a quick mental exercise: think of the most attractive person you know — not necessarily physically attractive, but a person that you think of as simply magnetic, self-assured, and nearly impossible for you to dislike. They can be fictional or real, but once you think of this person, think specifically of simple words that describe them, positive or negative.

For example, is this person you’re thinking of:

  • Confident
  • Self-assured
  • Competent
  • Positive
  • Upbeat
  • Kind
  • Determined
  • Flirtatious
  • Successful
  • Unbothered
  • Strong
  • Honest
When you have these words in mind, you have the ingredients to create your alter ego!

The link between alter egos and enhanced confidence

I wrote in detail about the power of alter egos when it comes to some of our most well-known performers, namely Beyonce, who crafted the alter ego Sasha Fierce for conquering stage fright. Believe it or not, Beyonce has stated many times she suffered from stage fright early on in her career, but by crafting a character that was at home on stage, she performed as “someone else,” and went on to become the powerhouse we all know.
An alter ego allows us to distance ourselves from the negative emotions that may stifle us when we feel the pressure, whatever the situation may be. When we ruminate on our perceived shortcomings, we engage in unhelpful mental dialogue that convinces us that we simply cannot deliver what is expected of us.
By distancing from our own thoughts for a brief moment, we actually regain control of that energy and focus it into our alter ego, with the understanding that while yes, it is our bodies and our words in front of others, the person we are embodying is not “us”. It is someone who we have specially crafted, someone who cannot ruminate on our past mistakes or insecurities because they are not us.
In doing so, we become the confident persona we’ve imagined, giving the impression that we are naturally at home under pressure, and we gain a more positive perspective on our own inner strength in the process.

The psychological science behind the Alter Ego and the Attractive Character

Confidence is not just a result of success but also a catalyst for it, a psychological concept that we can take advantage of as we craft our alter ego. The more we believe in ourselves and our capabilities, the more likely we are to take action, acquire new skills, and achieve success—a phenomenon known as the confidence-competence loop. Crafting an alter ego that is the epitome of our attractive traits, among other things, gives us access to this confidence-competence loop almost instantly. Our brains love to imagine, and if we are intentional with the personality, story, and ability of our alter ego that we craft, we simply follow the narrative; our psychology does the rest, and we follow the roadmap from confidence to producing competent action in line with the story we’ve developed for our alter ego.

Authenticity, a very attractive trait

While alter egos and personas can be valuable tools for personal growth, it’s essential to ensure they align with your core values and authentic self; alter ego does not mean to lie. Authenticity is the key to building a truly attractive character that resonates with others on a genuine level, because it’s one of the most attractive, magnetic traits we can display.
Confidence is dependent on authenticity; we feel uncertain of ourselves when we feel like we betray our core principles. Life is a tapestry full of moments where we sometimes feel like our authentic selves isn’t up to the task at hand, but by relying on the focus derived from an alter ego, we can set aside the negative self-talk and let our true, confident selves shine through the moment.

Conclusion: Alter Egos as Tools for Empowerment

By embracing confidence, exploring alter egos, and building an attractive character that aligns with your authentic self, you unlock the superhero within you, inspire others, and harness confidence in your every day life.
Step into your power, embody your boldest, most empowered self, and watch as you conquer challenges, inspire others, and create a life that truly reflects your limitless potential.

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