"Try putting yourself in someone else's shoes."
Many of us heard this advice as children, when perhaps we were frustrated with how someone was behaving towards us. The sage wisdom behind this advice is simply this:
Coming to an understanding of why someone behaves the way we do is possible by trying to see things from their perspective.
Human beings are naturally inclined to feel empathy for other humans, and in fact, it's practically an instinct that is deeply ingrained in our very essence. Empathy means to consider things from a perspective that is not our own, and to try and understand, recognize, and share the feelings of those around us. It's more than giving someone our sympathy or compassion -- it means to develop a deeper understanding of the emotional states of others, no matter if they are going through times of joy, or times of sadness.
In leadership, empathy is not just a nice-to-have quality—it’s a critical skill that can transform the way leaders connect with their teams, make decisions, and drive success. In fact, empathy is ranked one of the most important qualities in leadership, and is pivotal for employee engagement, satisfaction, and retention.
In today's blog post, I'm going to show you how empathy in leadership can transform the way you engage with your team members, why it matters for continued success, and how leaders can cultivate it to create a more supportive and effective workplace.
What is Empathetic Leadership?
Empathy is the ability to recognize, understand, and share the emotional state of someone other than ourselves. It requires considering another person's perspectives, taking them on as if they were your own, and responding with care and a compassionate tone.
Like many leadership traits, empathy appears in certain career paths more often than others. While intuitively you would expect jobs that require interfacing with the public during emotionally charged moments are the only careers where empathy matters, persons with strong empathic abilities (often called empaths) can be found across many industries.
Careers where high empathy skills are desired include:
- Social workers
- Teachers
- Nurses
- Therapists
- Writers
- Actors
- Veterinarians
But these are only some of the careers where the ability to practice empathy is at center stage -- nearly every industry can benefit from leaders that lead with empathy. We call this empathic leadership.
Empathetic leadership is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and to use this understanding to inform decision-making and build strong relationships with team members. A leader that is adept at demonstrating empathy often fares much better in handling workplace disputes, creating a positive workplace culture, and improving teamwork in their company.
Characteristics of Empathetic Leaders
Empathetic leaders are, above all, unique human beings who inform their empathic leadership style with their lived experiences, personalities, and values. But generally speaking, a leader with strong empathy skills have a few key traits in common.
- Active listeners. Empathic leaders are typically good listeners, able to hear and understand the needs and concerns of their team members, and take a genuine interest in fostering more positive, effective communication. They refrain from interrupting, and make an effort to stay fully present.
- Judgment-free: Leaders with high empathy are non-judgmental and able to see things from different perspectives. They may not always agree with what their team members are communicating to them, but they take care to respond without invalidating.
- Emotionally intelligent: Empathetic leaders are able to manage their own emotions and to use emotional intelligence to inform their decision-making. They are in tune with their own feelings and recognize how their emotions can influence their decisions, leadership style, and relationships.
- Lead by example: They are able to demonstrate empathy in their words and actions, and to create a safe and supportive work environment. They have a deep-seated belief in practicing what they preach, and in doing so, create a more cohesive workplace culture that maintains empathy as one of its core values.
Developing Empathetic Leadership Skills
For some of us, empathy comes as naturally as breathing, where it takes almost no effort to relate to our peers, perceive shifts or ebbs in emotions, and craft a sensitive but affirming response.
But outside of these extraordinarily emotionally-savvy individuals, empathy isn't something that most people are automatically attuned to, and that can be for any number of reasons: "I'm just not a very emotional person," is what I tend to hear from folks who are interested in empathetic leadership but struggle to apply it.
I believe -- and science agrees-- that empathy is a skill, and like any skill, can be learned and developed through practice and training.
1. Seek Feedback
Leaders can develop their empathy skills by seeking feedback from others and by practicing active listening. A cornerstone of empathy involves being open to others' perspectives, including feedback on your own behavior; remember that no one is perfect, and even with our best intentions, we all have our blind spots.
Encourage your team to share their thoughts and feelings during open feedback sessions, and be willing to adjust your approach based on their input. Create a space where you leave judgment at the door, and make a concentrated effort to understand where their feedback is coming from, even when you disagree. Empathy in leadership isn't about being right all the time -- it's about understanding why someone else might believe you are in the wrong. The only way we can come closer to fixing those blind spots is through seeking consistent feedback.
2. Practice emotional self-regulation
Empathetic leaders can also develop their emotional intelligence by learning to recognize and manage their own emotions, an aspect of emotional intelligence that is crucial for relating to others. Emotional awareness allows us to develop better tools to self-regulate.
Being emotionally aware means recognizing your own emotions and understanding how they affect your thoughts and actions; once we become aware of how our emotions manifest, we can address how they are expressed and subsequently received by others.
Leaders who are emotionally aware are better equipped to manage their emotions and empathize with others, and effective leaders are often keenly in tune with how their emotional state appears in their management style.
3. Lead by example
An empathetic leader inspires loyalty, trust, and happiness in their employees because they take special care to lead with empathy in open and honest ways. Empathy is best learned through example, and helps remind the team that you are genuinely concerned with their wellbeing and can be responsive to their emotional dynamics.
And importantly, by modeling empathetic behavior in your daily interactions, you set a standard for your team to follow. If a team member is going through a difficult time, offer them flexibility and support. Your actions will demonstrate that you care about their success and normalizes empathy in the workplace for all.
The Role of Empathy in Decision-Making
A leader's primary duty is to make strong, necessary decisions while considering the unique positions and situations of everyone on their team. This is where empathy plays a critical role.
In decision-making, empathy allows leaders to consider the needs and concerns of all employees, clients, and stakeholders; it gives leaders a better understanding of their team members, their strengths, and how to craft solutions. On the client side of things, it allows leaders to relate on a more personal level with their business partners, often leading to stronger relationships where they can anticipate the needs of all parties.
Furthermore, empathy helps leaders to avoid making decisions that may have unintended consequences or that may harm others due to carelessness.
This doesn't mean that leaders should shy away from making tough decisions that impact others negatively -- this is often a reality of business -- but it means that a leader should demonstrate empathy to any affected parties and communicate their decision in a sensitive and dignified manner.
Conclusion
Empathy is not only a powerful and essential trait for effective leadership, but a wonderful gift we can choose to give to others on a daily basis.
Understanding and addressing the emotions and needs of others creates empathetic leaders that can build trust, improve communication, and foster a more inclusive and productive work environment.
And remember that keyword here: trust. Empathy in leadership cannot flourish without trust; in ourselves, and in others. We trust that exploring the emotional side of our leadership style can change the way we approach management, business outcomes, and employee relationships.
As you develop your own unique empathetic leadership approach, remember that our emotions are important parts of the human experience, and mastering emotional dynamics in the workplace can elevate our teams, cultivate innovation, and even change lives.
