Trauma is more often than not, an unfortunately common experience many of us will have to process at some point in our lives. It can leave deep, lasting emotional scars the create inner turmoil, stir up strong negative feelings, and affect our relationships with our friends, our family, our children, and our inner selves.
Trauma is more than just being unable to stop thinking about a traumatic experience; it's a long-lasting psychological and biological condition that influences our lives, relationships, and personality. Without sufficient coping skills, we lose the ability to pro actively cope and regain self efficacy through healing.
Traditional therapeutic methods are effective, but sometimes, innovative strategies can provide additional support on our path to healing, and the benefits they provide may work very well for some individuals.
One such strategy is using alter egos.
Alter egos are characters we develop that enable us to participate in things that provoke anxiety, such as public speaking or performing. However, we can use them to help with overcoming trauma through self-distancing and improving self-control.
In today's blog post, let's explore the concept of alter egos, how they can aid in overcoming trauma, and practical steps to create and utilize them in your healing journey.
Understanding Alter Egos
What is an alter ego?
An alter ego is a second self or different version of oneself, often embodying qualities or characteristics that one wishes to develop or amplify. For example, if someone feels timid when speaking in front of a crowd, they may develop a character that feels at home on stage, one that projects an absurd amount of confidence. It can also sometimes be called the Batman Effect, coined for everyone's favorite caped crusader who has a habit of adopting a dark, brooding persona to fight crime.
The alter ego isn't simply a character -- it's a set of traits, ideals, and personality quirks that are already inside of us that we choose to augment through intention. Kids are masters at doing this, engaging in entire adventures using only a little imagination. It's a shame, really, that as adults we forget how to do what was once automatic.
But trust me, you don't have to be a kid to reap the psychological benefits of using an alter ego. Many performers use the technique to get into a confident frame of mind, like Adele with her Sasha Carter persona, and Beyoncé's Sasha Fierce persona to name a few.
The Benefits of Self-Distancing
How do alter egos enable self-distancing from traumatic experiences?
The main idea behind alter egos is that they enable us to distance ourselves from the feelings that the immediate situation inspires, like anxiety or nervousness. This is also known as self-distancing.
Adopting an alter ego is an extreme form of self-distancing, which involves taking a step back from immediate feelings to view a situation more dispassionately.
Creating an alter ego allows individuals to view their experiences from a third-person perspective, eliminating the opportunities for judgment, and draw upon extra self confidence. This self-distancing can reduce the emotional intensity of traumatic memories and provide a more objective viewpoint for processing emotions, which is critical for creating psychological distance from the event.
Research suggests that this strategy has tangible psychological benefits, and may help many individuals experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) by reducing the emotional distress of traumatic memories through recalling these memories from an observer perspective.
Reducing emotional intensity through self-distancing
When we're in the throes of distress, it can be extremely difficult to exert executive function and think logically about our situation. The same is true of trauma, where the painful memories of the past sometimes appear out of the blue, and provoke the same psychological and emotional responses that have kept us in a toxic cycle.
An alter ego empowers us to regain control of our emotions through self distancing, and gives us the space to view a situation from a more rational perspective. Self-distancing is a powerful tool that can give us a little bit of extra grace to think rationally during times of stress, allowing us to rein in undesirable feelings and memories by placing us a comfortable distance away from the emotion.
Say for instance, you're struggling with a past wound that is triggered by a very specific person, place, or thing -- the fictional persona you develop may become an amazing tool in this regard. Rather than ruminating about the event that caused the trauma, you instead embody your alter ego and imagine their thoughts and feelings about the situation.
The simple act of reframing by using your alter ego can uncover new perspectives on your trauma, opening the door to forgiveness, grace, healing, and insight.
Developing Self-Control with Alter Egos
How do I use the third person to develop self-control and confidence?
When we're deep in a trauma response, research suggests that the ability to regain emotional equilibrium is severely impacted. Emotional dysregulation is common among survivors of trauma, where it almost feels like they are unable to bring themselves back into a state of control.
Survivors of trauma are keenly aware that it isn't a matter of simply "stopping it," or "getting over it," -- truly, it sometimes can feel like they are not ourselves despite being logically aware that their emotions are not reflective of reality. This is the cornerstone of a persistent trauma response, and it can be highly distressing, even for those among us with decent coping skills.
Worse yet, we can sometimes criticize ourselves for feeling the way we do, and such thoughts can severely impact our self efficacy, self-esteem, and overall confidence.
Strategies for maintaining self-control in stressful situations
Luckily, one of the major benefits of developing a fictional persona is to improve self-control and confidence. For example, when dealing with a difficult problem or emotion, we ask ourselves how our alter ego would behave and feel in the moment. This separates our "logic" brain from the emotional response, enabling greater control and assisting us in returning to an emotional baseline.
This technique may sound similar to one that individuals living with generalized anxiety disorder use often in cognitive behavioral therapy: grounding, or the practice of using mindfulness and presence to temper the physiological effects of an anxiety episode. However, an alter ego technique can achieve a similar effect, where we ground our persona in the moment and treat our minds as a separate entity.
Putting it into Practice
Tips for incorporating alter egos into daily life and therapy sessions
Now that we understand the powerful roles that alter ego work can play in healing from trauma, I want to leave you with a step-by-step guide for incorporating this practice into your everyday life. You may find similarities between this guide and my previous blog on using alter egos to overcome anxiety, but there are subtle differences here that are specific to trauma coping.
And like all of my guides, I want to emphasize that your journey is uniquely your own, and you may find yourself using all of, or only some of these tips, perhaps in a different order entirely. The key is to find what works for you, and adapt this technique for your individual needs.
1. Identify Your Needs
Consider the specific challenges you face in your trauma recovery, and try to be as detailed as you can. Identify areas where you need additional support, such as self-control, confidence, or emotional resilience.
For example, you may be struggling with rumination over the traumatic event, such that you cannot stop thinking about it over and over. Pinpoint the specific emotion that this memory provokes, such as embarrassment, stress, regret, or helplessness. List the traits and qualities that would help you overcome this challenge. This alter ego may be someone who embodies courage, resilience, or calmness, someone who experienced the event like you did, but processed it through the lens of these traits.
2. Create Your Alter Ego
Based on your needs and desired traits, create a persona that embodies these characteristics that best address your situation. This is the part where you should have a little fun: give your alter ego a name, appearance, and backstory that resonate with you and your truth. Draw upon the imagination that was once so vivid in childhood, and brainstorm until you're satisfied.
From there, we switch from being a creative writer, and instead become an actor working on a huge role. Think about how your persona walks, talks, and responds to others. How do they move through space? How loudly or softly do they speak? How do they navigate relationships with others?
3. Integrate Your Alter Ego
Regularly practice embodying your alter ego in everyday situations, even when not encountering a triggering event. Fortune favors the prepared, and this is especially true in alter ego work, where you train your mind to call upon your new persona automatically during stress.
Start with small challenges and gradually apply this persona to more significant issues related to your trauma; for instance, say that you oversleep and are running late for work, a mildly stressful event that happens to all of us at some point. What specifically are you worried about?
- Are you worried about how your coworkers would judge you?
- Are you afraid that your supervisor may hold this against you?
- Are you dreading having to potentially stay later to make up for lost time?
Think about how your persona would respond, and call upon them while you're navigating the situation; instead of rushing, stressing, and forgetting things on our way out the door, the persona may respond with calmness and carefulness. The persona may be someone who is unaffected by the opinions of others, and confident in their ability to complete their workday in a timely fashion despite this challenge.
Regardless of how the day ends up going, simply donning the persona allows us to look at our anxieties in a more objective light and replace our irrational fears with logical thoughts.
- Your coworkers probably aren't judging you for one day of being late.
- Your supervisor most likely won't hold one day of lateness against you considering all the other days you've shown up on time.
- You can competently finish your work and one day of staying later doesn't reflect your value to the team.
4. Seek Professional and Community Support
Like any of my mindfulness techniques, I always end with recommending professional guidance and support, especially when it comes to trauma. Unpacking and reconciling with traumatic experiences is something that no one technique or tip can accomplish without an additional support system. At-home techniques are best employed as a combination.
Confide in trusted friends and family about your ability to manage your trauma, if you feel comfortable doing so. Contact trained mental health professionals who specialize in traumatic memories, where their training enables you to revisit and cope with your experience in a non-judgmental, emotionally grounded place.
Conclusion
Overcoming trauma is a complex and deeply personal journey, and innovative strategies like using alter egos can provide valuable support in addition to tried and true therapeutic measures.
An alter ego is above all, a tool that can help give us the gift of control and equilibrium during trying times. By creating and embodying an alter ego, you can develop more self-control, provide emotional support, and facilitate self-distancing, all of which contribute to your healing and resilience.
And remember, your journey is one of direction, not perfection -- it is okay to struggle, experience setbacks, and feel discouraged while you're navigating this process. Give yourself credit for trying, for fighting for yourself, and for advocating for a better future.
Your life is your own, and I wish you all the best as you embark on your courageous journey of healing.
