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Balancing the internal against the external is one of life's many adventures.

It's a journey where we try to manifest the best version of ourselves that can achieve all we have ever dreamed of by articulating clear goals and executing them. They empower us with direction, motivation, and serve as helpful benchmarks to measure our progress throughout the course of our lives.

Whatever your journey looks like, it will most definitely involve a constellation of ever-changing internal and external goals that drive you.

Achieving balance between the two is imperative to your success, since it is often the case that many of us dedicate too much time and energy towards one type of goal, leaving us lacking in other areas of our lives.

Today's blog post is dedicated towards unpacking the differences between an internal and external goal, where we learn how to identify them, apply them to our module on attractive character work, and how to avoid common mistakes when focusing on our goals.

What are Internal Goals and External Goals?

What are things that you aspire towards?

Are they tangible and specific like owning a home by a certain age?

Or are they deeply personal and emotional, like mastering a new hobby for your own satisfaction?

This here lies the main difference between an external goal and an internal goal, and you might have noticed that they are not entirely opposites. It's fully possible to find personal fulfillment in achieving an external goal, and on the same token, achieving an internal goal can often open doors towards achieving new external goals.

Understanding the Difference

Internal goals are those that are intrinsically motivated and focus on personal growth, self-improvement, and emotional well-being, or rather, things that we find deeply personal and not as tangible to outsiders. These goals are driven by an internal desire to fulfill one's values, passions, and interests, rather than by external rewards, recognition or validation.

An internal goal is often something we measure in terms of our own subjective judgment, like how well we're doing in practicing mindfulness, or how quickly we improve while learning a new skill.

Internal goals can include:

  • Improving our physical fitness for better health.
  • Journaling every day to practice mindfulness and reflection.
  • Developing confidence in specific areas of our lives.
  • Cultivating stronger relationships with our loved ones.

External goals are focused on things outside of your own subjective judgment and are usually things others can measure as well, such as making a certain amount of money or getting a certain number of customers. Goals that come from an external motivation those that are extrinsically driven, and focus on achieving external rewards, recognition, or approval from our peers.

These goals often involve tangible outcomes and are influenced by current societal expectations and standards, such as having a specific job and making a specific amount of money by a specific age.

External goals can include:

  • Getting the big promotion.
  • Achieving a desired level of income.
  • Winning an award in your field.
  • Obtaining a large social media presence.

Identifying Your Attractive Character’s Internal Goal

Sometimes it can be a challenge to separate our goals into internal and external categories, but one tool I have found particularly useful for this is to combine our goal-setting with attractive character work. Creating character goals for our alter ego serves two purposes:

  • It allows us to articulate our external and internal goals in a creative, distanced way, minimizing pressure and maximizing our potential.
  • It deepens our attractive character with more detail, enabling us to apply the alter ego in a variety of situations with authenticity.

The trick here may sound counterintuitive but hear me out: your goals don't have to align with your attractive character's all the time!

That idea may sound contrary to what I have highlighted about attractive character work, but the point of this is not to simply create character goals that are exactly the same as our own: that just puts us back at square one.

Instead, rely on the traits and story you have inserted into you character, and think about the kinds of goals they would want to achieve.

Think about how they would execute a plan to achieve either and internal goal or external goal, and especially how they measure success. Since your character is really made up of your own personality, these goals may look different in practice, but you will be pleasantly surprised to find that they also align with things you desire.

From there, it's far easier to designate and subsequently build upon our own goals in much more detail.

Tips for Creating Character Internal Goals

  1. Review your character's personality. If your attractive character is more vivacious and outgoing, then their external goal may be something like booking a major speaking engagement, while their internal goal would be to improve their speaking ability.
  2. Identify the character's external goal. External is usually the easiest to start with since it's tangible and specific. Feel free to generate many ideas that feel authentic to the character, and be intentional about the motivation behind your character's external goal.
  3. Identify the character's internal goal. What are things that your character wants for their own personal development? What would make your character feel fulfilled emotionally and personally?
  4. Identify where your character's goals align with your sense of self. Your character may not want the same things as you do, but review what you've drafted for the alter ego and reflect on how they align with your own values and desires.

You may find that while a character's goal isn't exactly what you want, you can find knowledge in their execution or internal motivation. This opens the door to clarity, where you can better position yourself to identify and develop your own goals as either external or internal desires.

Balancing Internal and External Goals

While both internal and external goals are important, finding a balance between them is key to a well-rounded and fulfilling life.

Focusing solely on external goals can lead to burnout and a sense of emptiness, while exclusively pursuing internal goals may neglect practical necessities and societal contributions. This internal and external conflict looks different for everyone, and many folks are able to achieve great things that give them personal fulfillment and external success.

But that takes balance, and it's helpful to know how important both types of goals are, and when/where external and internal goals clash.

The Importance of Internal Goals

  • Internal goals provide a genuine sense of satisfaction that runs deeper than external achievement.
  • Work on our internal goals improves our ability to stay emotionally resilient, calm, and confident even during times of struggle and scarcity.
  • When we achieve internal goals, we learn to be content with achievement for its own sake, and enjoy a reward that no one can give to, or take away from us.
  • Internal work allows us to develop self-efficacy, self-esteem, and self-compassion as we unpack previously unhelpful ideas about success and achievement.

The Importance of External Goals

  • External goals are tangible and specific, providing a benchmark for tracking progress and development.
  • A difficult external goal challenges us to think critically and apply ourselves in ways we may not have thought ourselves capable of doing.
  • Achieving an external goal gives us a strong morale boost and greater confidence in our abilities.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Focusing Too Much on External Goals

While external goals are things that many of us strive to achieve, they may not always be the right thing to focus on in every situation. It's a bit of a double-edged sword to prioritize the external, since while achieving them feels great, it's temporary, and worse yet, when we don't achieve our external goal, we open the door to self-criticism and self-doubt if we don't develop a grounded internal sense of self.

Moreover, many external goals are never completely in our control. They can be affected by variables such as market trends, competition, and sometimes even dumb luck. Being so laser-focused on the external can often leave us blind to the uncontrollable nature of success.

Focusing Too Much on Internal Goals

Internal goals are crucial for developing personal fulfillment in our lives, but they can lead us to staying in our heads more than is practical.

Focusing on the internal and neglecting the external entirely can often cause us to stall our careers, interfere with our ability to meet financial obligations, and impact our personal relationships. For example, staying quiet and being personally rewarded for the work you do is a great feeling, but may result in being overlooked for a raise or promotion.

Internal and external goals are meant to be combined

Ensure that your external goals are aligned with your internal values and passions -- both the internal and external demand attention, and combining them is one of the most powerful methods of skyrocketing your progress. This alignment can provide a deeper sense of purpose and fulfillment when pursuing external achievements.

For example, if you want to develop greater creativity (an internal goal), pursue promotions or job opportunities that value creativity and imagination (the external goal).

Conclusion

Understanding the difference between internal and external goals is essential for a balanced and fulfilling life, but it doesn't have to be stressful work.

While external goals provide tangible rewards and societal validation, internal goals nurture personal growth and emotional well-being. They are two sides of a very important coin, that coin being our development as human beings.

By aligning external goals with internal values, prioritizing personal growth, and regularly reassessing your goals, you can achieve a harmonious balance that leads to lasting fulfillment and success, whatever that looks like to you.

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