We all have a story to tell—a narrative that shapes our identity, influences our decisions, and defines our journey through life.
Your life story is distinctly yours; no two lives are exactly the same, and therefore, your life story is all your own. For many, the idea that our story is uniquely ours, and that we have control over the life we create is empowering.
But it is critical to remember that a life story -- full of emotions, family, hardship, success, and many of the wonderful highs and lows the world has to offer -- is not destiny. Too often, we become convinced that our lives are running in one direction, and there are times where we may struggle to stand up for ourselves and dare to create change in our stories.
Have you ever felt like your life was running you, and not the other way around? Have you ever felt like your personal narrative is set in stone, with no room for growth or progress?
These feelings are perfectly normal, and oftentimes they're a sign that our hearts are ready for change, ready for the next big challenge, but we've fallen into the trap of believing that annoying little voice in our heads that the person we were yesterday is the person we'll always be.
What if I told you that you have the power to rewrite your story, infusing it with courage, confidence, and charisma?
In today's blog post, we'll continue our exploration into the transformative power of the attractive character (also known as the alter ego) and how embracing this persona unlocks the ability to reshape the way we see our life story.
Introduction to the Concept of Alter Egos
Early in my career, there were times when I -- like many new business owners -- struggled with self-doubt. I was afraid of letting my loved ones down, of not being able to achieve the goals I set for myself. I look back on those times and remember that self-doubt is a natural part of growth, and it means we're challenging our comfort zone.
Of course at the time, I wasn't thinking of the positives; I was worried about the problem at hand.
I was focused on the things I lacked: I didn't have generations of familial wealth or examples to look towards, and since I was just beginning, I didn't have sprawling networks of colleagues to confer with. I didn't know it then, but I was falling into that same pattern of believing that my life story was predetermined, and the idea of changing it seemed distant.
But I have to give that greener version of myself some credit.
Out of all the thoughts going through my mind, one of them in particular grounded me: I am in control of my life, and I will not let anyone, even myself, say otherwise.
So when I learned about the concept of the attractive character, I knew that I could overcome my feelings of doubt by focusing all of that unfettered energy into creating my ideal life story.
The attractive character is a persona we develop, one that comes from targeted and focused intention from our imagination, that embodies our most empowered, confident, and charismatic self. It's the alter ego, built upon qualities we already have, that we channel to overcome self-doubt, push past limitations, and step into our full potential.
The power of alter egos in reshaping personal narratives
If you haven't heard of the alter ego, you may know it be its colloquial name: The Black Mamba Effect. It was coined in regards to Kobe Bryant's use of the alter ego, the Black Mamba, to distance his personal life from his professional one.
The idea is basically a form of self distancing, where even small shifts in perspective can help people feel more confident in their ability to overcome hardship and stress. It allows us to get out of our heads in a sense, and exert greater self control over our feelings.
You may be familiar with an example I love using, which is how Beyonce crafted the persona of Sasha Fierce to serve as a second self that was able to perform in front of millions with confidence, control, and power.
The idea is that we take all of the aspects of our personality that we already have, and focus them into creating a new persona -- the alter ego -- that distinguishes the self we need during times of stress, from the self we demonstrate in everyday life. Through the lens of an alter ego, we can begin to see our life stories in a different light. No longer defined by past failures or insecurities, we approach each new chapter as an opportunity for growth, resilience, and transformation.
Creating Your Alter Ego: Persona Development
Remember that while the words "alter ego" implies a completely separate personality, in reality, we craft this persona using our personality as a toolbox, infusing this individual with characteristics we already embody, and augmenting traits we seek to improve.
Step 1: Building out personality traits for your attractive character
Start by envisioning the qualities and characteristics you aspire to embody. Are you seeking more confidence, courage, or creativity? Visualize your ideal self and the persona that embodies those traits, and be detailed.
It's helpful to write down qualities already inherent to your nature, since it gives us a roadmap that is rooted in authentic traits that we don't have to fake. This second self should have a distinct voice, but share your desires. These personality traits should emanate from your core values, emotions, and perspective. Play into your strengths, and forgive yourself for any percieved weaknesses; it's all part of the journey.
Step 2: Crafting a detailed persona profile, including background, motivations, and aspirations
Sasha Fierce, Black Mamba, no matter how you slice it, it is key to give your alter ego a name—a moniker that encapsulates the essence of your empowered self. This name will serve as a symbolic representation of the persona you are cultivating, and it's essential for our alter ego to stand on its own. A name is part of that.
You don't have to mimic celebrities and go for something as striking as Sasha Fierce, but at this step, I encourage you to not worry and have fun with it -- create a persona that could be their own person.
For example, does your persona share your past? Are they the same gender as the one you identify? In addition to sharing your desires, do they have separate, personal goals different from your own? What motivates them to seek more opportunities? If they're not nervous while performing, what exactly does make them nervous? Being detailed here makes the next step far easier.
Step 3: Determining your core values and how they influence your alter ego
Now we take a step back and put the lens on ourselves. At this step, we have to ask ourselves the big question: who are we at our core?
The reason this step is last is because creating an alter ego essentially shifts our mindset to look critically at qualities we desire, and help us realize that many of those already shine brightly inside. An alter ego is simply an avatar we use to represent those qualities in a way that is automatic, authentic, and useful for the task at hand.
Determine your core values and think about how they influence the character you create. You may be surprised to find that the difference between your attractive character and yourself is less drastic than you were originally aware.
With your alter ego by your side, you have the power to rewrite your life story in a way that reflects your newfound confidence and resilience.
Conclusion: The Transformational Power of Alter Egos
If I could tell that younger version of myself, the one nervous about what lies beyond a new horizon, I would tell her that the qualities she needs to overcome this one instance of doubt is already inside of her heart. I would tell her to acknowledge the life story she's lived and honor her roots, while encouraging her to push beyond expectations through developing a new perspective on the world at large.
Inspired by my own transformation, I'm passionate about empowering others to embrace their alter egos and rewrite their own life stories through actionable steps. Through workshops, coaching, blogging (naturally) and storytelling, I'm proud to share my journey and guide others on their path to empowerment.
As I reflect on my journey, I'm grateful for the transformative power of alter egos and the opportunity to shift my life story into one of empowerment, resilience, and limitless potential. I encourage you to embrace your alter ego, delve deeper into your personality and all of the wonderful traits you already demonstrate, and unleash the hero within.
