Trust is one of the trickiest concepts for leaders to gain a firm grasp on, and it definitely shows; for decades, industry leaders have either propelled themselves to greater success or fallen flat largely based on their understanding and mastery of trust.
And after decades of working with leaders myself, I've come to see trust as a pivotal tool that separates the good from the exceptional. Leaders who can inspire trust are rewarded with a mutually trusting team, genuine integrity in their working relationships, and a stronger sense of purpose in their everyday decision making.
But how exactly do these leaders develop trusting relationships with their employees? It's not something they simply whip up on a whim -- a trusting relationship, like any relationship, is built upon empathy and skillful conflict management. Specifically, a leader who practices empathy in their conflict interactions are better able to understand their employees' needs, where they need support, and how to mend constantly evolving relationships throughout their company.
In today's blog post, I want to dive deeper into my blog series on empathy and focus solely on its relationship with conflict management and developing trust. Along the way, we'll look into how trust applies to our work relationships, how practicing empathy inspires mutual trust, and how conflict resolution skills allow us to develop and maintain trusting relationships with our employees.
Understanding Trust
What is trust and why is it important in personal relationships and business?
Everything you know, someone told you.
If you think about it, almost every belief we've formed about the world, our place in it, and others are all based around assessing and evaluating information some other entity told us. In short, we have faith that the information we've been given is credible or reliable, and make choices accordingly.
A trusting relationship is no different. We are presented with a person's actions, words, and promises, and then decide how much trust we want to place in them. Trust is a critical component of any successful relationship, whether personal or professional. It establishes a foundation for effective communication, collaboration, and understanding between ourselves and those we work with.
You don't just have to take my word for it either. A wonderfully reflective piece from Harvard Business Review outlined how employees who trust their leaders are better engaged, display greater creativity, and are substantially more productive. Trust is not only an important aspect of improving employee engagement -- it seems like it's essential.
And moreover, building trust is essential for creating a positive and productive work environment. Every manager is keenly aware that a job is far easier when your team trusts you. It's your employees feeling that you are "on their side," and understand their unique contributions to the workplace. Furthermore, trust in the workplace allows employees the freedom to make mistakes as part of their development, knowing that their leader is willing and able to understand what they need to correct their mistakes and move forward.
Building Trust
For all this interest in trust, many leaders expect me to have a surefire, foolproof method they can use to build trust. Unfortunately, it doesn't happen automatically. The only way to build trust is to, well, be trustworthy. This sounds like a circular argument, but I implore you to think about it. Why should anyone trust what you say if you do not display the values you want to see reflect in them?
In short, we begin to build trust when we start behaving in a trustworthy manner.
Be reliable and consistent
Reliable and consistent leaders build trust easily, because it shows that they are dependable and responsible. Generally speaking, if you practice what you preach and show up for your employees consistently, you inspire your team members to do the same every day they come to work.
Consistent and reliable behavior help build a feeling of comfort and predictability among your employees, which is essential for building trust.
Communicate effectively and transparently
Leaders with effective communication skills and a tried and true communication process are able to stay clear and transparent with their employees. Staying transparent shows that you trust your employees and make an effort to avoid surprises. It does not mean that you tell your team everything behind every decision you make, but rather, you provide context to aid in their understanding.
Set and respect boundaries
Even the most intimate of our relationships have healthy boundaries, and our working relationships are no different. Setting and respecting boundaries is essential for building trust, as it shows that you respect your team’s time and attention without trying to intrude on their personal lives or ask them for more than they are comfortable doing. It helps to establish concrete expectations, preventing misunderstandings before they occur.
Empathy and Emotional Intelligence
The role of empathy in building trust
Trust building demands that leaders work towards practicing empathy and understanding in their interactions with employees. Empathy is a key factor in establishing and maintaining trust because it allows your team members to relate to you on a more personal level, recognizing that you make an effort to understand their emotions and opinions.
An empathic leader recognizes the important role that emotions play in all kinds of relationships, and in the workplace today, relating to your employees on a deeper level allows you to forge genuine relationships where trust is mutual.
Developing emotional awareness and intelligence
In my last blog post on the topic, I emphasized how emotional awareness is the key to understanding yourself and others. When we are aware of our internal states, and especially how those states are perceived by those close to us, we are better-equipped to build trust.
Emotional awareness is developed through looking internally, regulating how we are feeling in the moment, and applying our knowledge of our emotions to our social interactions. An emotionally aware person can clock a person's emotional state and recognize how best to interact, no matter the context. This is especially important during conflict resolution procedures, where tensions can run high and a leader must bring everyone back to a baseline, trusting working relationship.
Conflict Management
What is conflict and how does it arise?
Conflict is a normal part of any healthy relationship, and it's a matter of when -- not if -- you will face conflict in your workplace. When individuals who feel strongly about something disagree, it can lead to a conflict that requires an acute understanding of each party's values, motivations, perceptions, ideas, or desires.
Conflict provides an opportunity to strengthen the trusting bond between two people when handled in a respectful, positive way. Conflict resolution opens the door towards learning more about your employees, how they view a certain situation, and asking them to place their trust in you that you will help them find a peaceful, respectful outcome.
Responding to conflict in a constructive way
We want every conflict resolution conversation to be constructive, and by "constructive," I mean that the conversation should end with a feeling of empowerment, and a renewed respect for each individual involved. Responding to conflict in a constructive way requires empathy, active listening, and effective communication.
High trust companies often use a constructive conflict resolution style because it communicates a genuine interest in the happiness and future success of their employees, which helps to build trust and strengthen relationships.
Business leaders who are adept at conflict resolution do not let either party feel that they are showing favoritism while still taking time to reassure their employees that they are still "on their side," by being fair, leading with integrity, and communicating their desire for a peaceful resolution.
Conclusion
Building trust in the workplace requires more than a keen intellect, or razor-sharp strategy that many leaders are well-versed in -- it requires the willingness of a leader to acknowledge their own feelings about trust, choose to lead by example, and earn trust through an empathic management style.
Rewarding relationships go two ways, and we give ourselves an incredible gift when we choose trust, and work hard at earning it.
